January 2011
I want to write
but I need to sleep.
In Shallow Seas We Sail
“Ships don’t sink if they have wind in their sails. But if the wind fails, is there hope for me? (I guess your love…) I thought your love was safe.
The promise you made… (wasn’t so safe, the promise you made…) Now I am drowning in your shallow sea; I swim. (you are the storm, the wind and the waves. You break me in two and toss me away… I fell apart...
I want to write something
But I’m not sure what to write about.
I’ve been feeling odd since last night, for at one moment where I thought I might feel upset or then later regretful, I felt fine. I find myself feeling fine with a lot of things lately. I’m not so sure that this attitude is healthy. Should I be fine with everything? At times it doesn’t seem like I have much choice in the matter. I...
Got to thinkin' last night
Truth be told, I worry sometimes about who I’m becoming or who I might become someday.
I feel like when we’re kids we spend so much time wondering what we want to do when we grow up, that we kinda lose sight of who we want to be. It’s an odd sort of thing to think about, especially when your idols have usually reached feats or accomplished goals that few people in life can even...
Getting a move on
Well, I applied for a job today. Nothing too serious or permanent, but definitely something worth giving a shot. I plan on saving a lot of money and continuing my crusade for a healthier lifestyle. I joined the gym so now it’s REAL lol, now I have to actually commit to it. I’m actually very excited about all of this. I won’t pretend to be jumping for joy over this strange future...
There is no reason...
… to be in a shitty mood anymore.
Whatever crap I’ve got metaphorically or theoretically or even realistically in my way, I need to get OUT of my way. It may be taking some time but last time I checked, I was in no rush to get anywhere all that specific. Things might not necessarily be any different than they were last week, but I don’t see why next week needs to be the same as...
I feel like a fool
For many reasons.
Regardless of flip-flopping between being upset and frustrated, I’m finally just starting to feel like an ass. It seems more logical to analyze this rather than let my emotions get the better of me anymore. I let my guard down for too long and I let too many things go. Now I’m starting to notice little changes that I never thought would happen… but the part...
Confidence?
Ha. Yeah, no.
Talk about being spineless… I really know how to piss myself off. lol, whatever, none of it matters much anyway. I’m at a strange kinda crossroads with myself. Wondering whether or not I should stay here… I’m considering all possibilities for the future in the hope that I’ll be able to choose something worthwhile. I’m all mixed up and I need to at...
Big sigh
No one listens to what they really want.
I found myself thinking constantly for the last several hours… the more I think, the more I realize that what was lost was really something that didn’t have to be lost. I know now that it is not my fault, but it doesn’t change the fact that this truly sucks. I wish things had been more carefully considered before decisions had been...
2011: Year for self-development?
This first post is going to long, confusing, and possibly irrational.
The last two weeks of my life have gone by pretty fast. They’ve been less than fulfilling and yet I have come to conclusions that I previously never even considered. Between graduating college, losing an old friend to an untimely death, and going through the most significant breakup of my life so far, I’m not quite...
